Non-religious Marriage Ceremony
                                             (No prayers or Scripture references)
                                               -- This ceremony lasts about 20 minutes. --

The main difference between the religious ceremony and the nonreligious is that instead of prayers and Scripture references I use poems or other short readings.  

If you would like to have other people involved in your ceremony, I can introduce them at the appropriate time and they can do the reading whether it be Scripture or other.

Click on this line if you would like to look at some alternate reading samples.

                                              Of course, I'd be happy to use your suggestions.

So, a marriage is a lot more than just two people living together; and it’s much more than just signing names to a piece of paper (which, of course, you will do). No, a marriage that lasts is MUCH more that this. It’s an agreement between two people who have pledged to love each other, to trust each other, and to face all that life has to offer, together and who love each other enough to do just what you are doing today: to pledge everything about who you are to the other person, to live together as a team as you build your future together. The happiest relationships involve partners who love and want to support their partner; not as some sort of investment to avoid conflict or keep from losing them. Each time you snap at each other, you hack a little chunk out of your relationship. Remember this moment and act like you have not forgotten that you love each other.

I, BRIDE, take you GROOM to be my husband.
   To have and to hold
   From this day forward.
I promise to be your true and loyal wife
   And to love and honor you always.
I do this because
   I love you today
   I will love you tomorrow
   And I will love you forever.

Rings Exchange:

Throughout time, the ring has been a symbol of unending love, because like time, the ring has no beginning and no end.  It is a circle -- the emblem of eternity.  Wedding rings are made of the type of metals that is the longest lasting.  We call these metals the "precious" metals.  And that's appropriate because they are the purest metal and the type that is least tarnished and longest lasting, symbolizing how lasting and imperishable is the faith which is now mutually pledged.

GROOM, do you have such a symbol of your love?
Please place her ring on her ring finger and repeat to her after me:

BRIDE, I give you this ring
   As a symbol of my love.
And as a reminder
   That I have chosen you
   To be the one
   To share my life.

BRIDE, do you have such a symbol of your love for GROOM?
Please place his ring on his ring finger and repeat after me:

GROOM, I give you this ring
   As a symbol of my love.
And as a reminder
   That I have chosen you
   To be the one
   To share my life.

GROOM and BRIDE, in a moment I'll pronounce you husband and wife.  But before I do, I'd like for us to consider these words:

Marriage means being in love for the rest of your life.
Marriage is love walking hand in hand together.
It's laughing with each other about silly little things with care and tenderness.
In marriage, love is trusting each other when you are apart.
It's "getting over" disappointments and hurts, knowing that these are present in all relationships. 
It's the realization that there is no one else in the world
   that you'd rather be with  than the one you are married to.
It's thinking of new things to do together;
   It's growing old together.
Marriage is being in love for the rest of your life.

Pronouncement and Kiss:

GROOM and BRIDE, you have made your marriage vows to one another, witnessed by your guests -- your friends and relatives.  You have sealed your vows with the giving and receiving of these rings.  So now, by the power vested in me by the State of California, I pronounce you husband and wife and invite you to kiss one another.   (Kiss)

Rose Ceremony:
(An optional ending but I recommend you consider it if it fits into your family)

When the kiss is finished the minister says to the newlyweds:

One of the many privileges of being a minister is that I am always the first one to speak to the newlyweds as husband and wife...which you now are.  Congratulations!

I'd also like to be the one to give you your first marriage gift.  I am holding in my hands two roses.  Roses have always signified what is happy in life: love, joy, laughter....   And I'd like to give a rose to each of you with the thought that these roses symbolize the love that we have been talking about today -- which is, of course, the foundation of your marriage.

Now I'd like for you to exchange your roses with one another.  This is your first gift to one another as a married couple.  That gift is the gift of love.

Minister speaking to parents and guests:

When we come to a marriage ceremony, it's easy to think that only one couple has been united by this marriage.  That's not really true.  After all, all of BRIDE family and all of GROOM family has been united by this marriage.  And to symbolize this union, I'd like for you to give the roses that you now hold to your new Mothers-in-Law.  Please do that now.

On the couple's return from giving roses to parents, the bride picks up he bouquet and, arm-in-arm the newlyweds face their guests.

Minister reads:

Now you will feel no rain,
   For each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold
   For each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now there is no more loneliness.

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead
   And through all the years.
May happiness be your companion
   And your days together be good and long upon the earth.
May love be your foundation
   Today, tomorrow, and forever.
The adventure has just begun!


                                 Some Optional Endings to Ceremony
             (These are nice to finish-up your ceremony -- kind of like the "icing on the cake".)

Unity Candle Ceremony:
(On a table are placed three candles.  The table is usually behind the minister during the ceremony.)

Sand Ceremony
(This is similar to the Unity Candle Ceremony but with three glass containers.  The two outer containers hold a different color of sand.)

Coins/Veil/Lazo
(Common in many Catholic weddings.)

Wine Ceremony or Wine Blending

There are many variations of using wine during your ceremony.  My favorite is the Wine Blending Ceremony because it symbolizes the union you have entered into.  It resembles the Sand Blending in many ways.  The officiant pours a glass of white wine and a glass of red wine. The couple drinks from each glass, then pours their wine together in a separate glass.  The new glass of wine will look like a rosé.  The officiant talks about the new color and the blending of their hearts together to become one.    
Loving Cup Ceremony: The officiant pours one glass of wine, talks about the aging and mellowing of wine and about sharing wine together; then the bride and groom each drink from the same wine glass.
Unity Wine Ceremony: couples may pass the wine glass to their family members as a symbol of the unity of the two families.
Interlocking arms:  The officiant pours two glasses of wine; the couple drinks with their arms locked. (Practice - practice- practice!!)
Wine Theme Wedding: you can have a wine-themed wedding with a wine and cheese tasting reception and five wine wedding favors such as engraved wine glasses or engraved wine openers.  Or have your wedding ceremony at a vineyard!



                                      Ladies and gentlemen.  It gives me great pleasure to introduce:
                                            Mr. and Mrs. GROOM and BRIDE (LAST NAME)

*This is my translation of 1 Corinthians 13.  I have been asked, "How do I know when I'm in love?"  My answer is, if you have these things...it's love.

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